im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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