My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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