so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
