In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
