I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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