Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
