a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
