Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
