HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
