I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
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So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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