I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
