She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Come on in and take your pants off
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