I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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