What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
