Texts From Last Night

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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.

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  (774): i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD. http://tfl.nu/8lo9
  Replies (28) Good night (561) Bad night (5358)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!

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  (506): porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off! http://tfl.nu/nmc3
  Replies (28) Good night (5849) Bad night (816)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.

  (206): View more from Washington

  Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.

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  (206): imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk. (206): Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy. http://tfl.nu/ynk1
  Replies (21) Good night (6984) Bad night (799)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it

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  (503): I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it http://tfl.nu/jqdj
  Replies (12) Good night (1314) Bad night (4824)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.

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  (314): shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to. http://tfl.nu/ryqs
  Replies (9) Good night (4391) Bad night (1608)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  ambylanc

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  what?

  (519): View more from Ontario

  there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.

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  (519): ambylanc (1-519): what? (519): there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it. http://tfl.nu/lrq4
  Replies (8) Good night (2937) Bad night (1338)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.

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  (423): He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis. http://tfl.nu/f7rk
  Replies (7) Good night (1638) Bad night (445)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished

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  (630): Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished http://tfl.nu/r8cu
  Replies (14) Good night (1540) Bad night (554)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.

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  (219): Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts? (219): Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy. http://tfl.nu/z832
  Replies (10) Good night (451) Bad night (1235)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.

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  (801): They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple. http://tfl.nu/xf6o
  Replies (5) Good night (1081) Bad night (320)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.

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  (801): Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later. http://tfl.nu/hc8l
  Replies (10) Good night (470) Bad night (633)
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  (858): View more from California

  I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"

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  (858): I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well" http://tfl.nu/9o99
  Replies (1) Good night (583) Bad night (225)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?

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  (908): I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax? http://tfl.nu/w375
  Replies (2) Good night (492) Bad night (280)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.

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  (347): I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical. http://tfl.nu/o6lg
  Replies (7) Good night (641) Bad night (272)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.

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  (410): I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME. http://tfl.nu/hzsz
  Replies (1) Good night (785) Bad night (260)

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