I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You need a sexual gate keeper
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can