Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least

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  (804): I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least http://tfl.nu/2p1t
  Replies (10) Good night (1564) Bad night (551)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know

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  (416): I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know http://tfl.nu/hsw7
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (2367)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.

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  (217): Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke. http://tfl.nu/86z1
  Replies (17) Good night (853) Bad night (4379)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!

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  (201): yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?! http://tfl.nu/evmd
  Replies (28) Good night (3828) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Then she called me a home wrecking whore.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.

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  (702): Then she called me a home wrecking whore. (1-702): dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count. http://tfl.nu/bp07
  Replies (15) Good night (5939) Bad night (1112)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.

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  (440): Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing. http://tfl.nu/eukd
  Replies (36) Good night (1289) Bad night (3383)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob

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  (570): I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob http://tfl.nu/rxex
  Replies (22) Good night (960) Bad night (11642)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.

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  (778): I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm. http://tfl.nu/ttig
  Replies (6) Good night (843) Bad night (3319)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.

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  (214): That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed. http://tfl.nu/6ncx
  Replies (5) Good night (4450) Bad night (834)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.

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  (630): I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible. http://tfl.nu/8o92
  Replies (17) Good night (4614) Bad night (1174)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity

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  (727): And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity http://tfl.nu/9e9v
  Replies (9) Good night (2258) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...

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  (731): Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels... http://tfl.nu/6gyu
  Replies (22) Good night (1369) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.

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  (760): Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night. http://tfl.nu/5xwv
  Replies (5) Good night (555) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight

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  (813): I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight http://tfl.nu/hz5m
  Replies (4) Good night (418) Bad night (241)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.

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  (847): Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way. http://tfl.nu/5snx
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (167)

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