Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.