Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.