did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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