I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
