i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
