Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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