i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The air was thick with penises
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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