We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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