They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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