I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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