I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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