So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
