The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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