just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
