I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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