nut hugger
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
