I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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