i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
