worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
