I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
