I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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