i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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