That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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