My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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