Christians are straight up FREAKS
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
