What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
