GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
