Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
