Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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