Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
