you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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