remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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