I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
