Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
