yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
