did you get engaged???
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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