Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
