feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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