I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
