I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
