It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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