It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You ruined the universe
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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