The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
