he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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