No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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