I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
