just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
